Escape was available….

In 1974 I gave birth to my 1st child… He would make my mothers father a great grandfather…. He died in an accident about 1 month after the child was born…

When mom went to Texas to deal with the estate… she came back with a suitcase full of documents and insurance policies….

First thing dad did, was try and sue the people, that were connected to granpas death… and things in the suitcase got put aside… I was working for Firemans Fund Insurance at the time, an had basic knowledge… I never saw the policies mom put away…. this was 1974….

In 2003, we moved to Mena, because I knew my dad was dying from agent orange… seen too many of my own patients and friends die from the junk….

Mom dug out the box of stuff from her dad’s estate… and I went through them… in total… back in 1974…. she had policies worth over $10,000… back at that time… that was like having $50,000…. she could have divorced and left him and ended it all right there…..

The reason for the confab…. I have often wondered why no one pursued those polices… everytime mom wanted money after Dad died, my phone rang… and I help her get survivor benefits from the VA, because dad died from Agent Orange and was a veteran…. we helped fix up the house and pointed out the pitfalls of it too… we have been flipping homes since 2000…..

So it has perplexed me why the insurance poicies were never cashed out… the people had been dead for decades…..

I showed her how to do the paper work and estimated the balance of the insurance was worth a little over a thousand dollars… and we took off to investigate other property of her dads up north…. a few weeks later we met up at church and mother hands me a check for something like $35 and says that’s from the insurance and I asked how much did you get… if I remember right… around a hundred bucks… I tore up the check she gave me….

Now my dad is not stupid… neither is mother…. both as greedy as you can possibly get and I don’t need you to believe me… the things they have done just drifted before my eyes… so much like Trump have they lived their lives…..

The money was there for mother to leave dad and put a stop to the violence…. and I doubt either of them figured that out, because in 1984, she left him, spent a fortune and went back… on the condition the violence would end….

My perspective… as I told my siblings during dad’s death watch…

The woman you know is not the woman I know….

Mother is one of the most manipulative humans I have ever met… she is keeping vital health information from me, because to admit what happen, means the truth will disolve any illusions my siblings have about her and their religion….. I truly know evil…. my daughter in law isn’t far off the mark either… the damage to my grandchildren is very evident…. and the cycle continues…. as they have been abusive towards us…. sigh…………..

Brings up the dilema of where to move too……

Life is about choices… I made some lousy ones over the years… but…. sometimes that word is a life saver…. I didn’t know about the TBI’s, concusions or strokes and seizures… and the area of impact, explains away my behavior… I just have to learn to live with it… what was once the puppet because of brain injury….

The puppet master has emerged…. It’s an interesting journey the psychology part of this….

I haven’t worked at rationalizing the actions of others the why or what fors….

Nope… I just tried to come out of darkness with my soul intack and my heart free….

I did no wrong… the ones who did this to me… can’t say that….

I Remember…. Margie…..

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