Just gotta be Me….

From the moment I could comprehend… I knew, being me, was not allowed… I was suppose to be the child my mother had a fantasy about and didn’t get, until her 2nd daughter was born… she was more maliable….

The song that says Just gotta be me… hit a chord today….

In the military I had to behave a certain way and I did it… but others had fantasies about me… so my story line has a few wild pieces…. while serving….

As a daughter, I didn’t conform to the religion or the control… I stopped that after the last blow at 17….. that one stroke took so much…..

Of late, with my hippie doc eye surgeon… or my private doc… I have just been me… no, conforming to what society thinks… which has no value or what the stranger on the corner thinks….

I’m just being me…. the person who will start speaking Japanese to a old lady in the grocery store, who is trying to reach a high shelf and she responds in kind and is shocked when she sees my round eyes… but the asian is in the DNA… must be why this one language was always so easy to remember… learn, that’s another story….

I asked my eye surgeon to be my pot doc… since we are going to be here longer than planned… want to be legal and all…. he giggled and said yea… I entertained him and the anestheisologist when I was under…. I remember… they giggled during those surgeries … no bad memories on that front…

I figure, I can’t get society to conform to my head injuries and my perspective on life… so…. quit trying and just be me…. you’ll either smile back and converse or you’ll look at me like I am Hydra….. ready to pounce….

I think that is why I have been so consistent with my honesty… I’m just being me… if you want to hear something else…. suggest you look else where… enabling is a religious thing.. and not a healthy mind thing…..

Sleep is normal, well If you call what I get normal… the kids next door, must have dumped the hens and roosters… it’s all quiet over there and we have been sleeping past 5AM…. nice change… but sleep is not interupted by dreams… naw… Trump takes those… or at least the drama he creates is what I laugh about in my dreams right now… and that is refreshing after decades of nightmares….

Breezy outside, trees swaying softly on the wind, like the hips of a hula dancer with their arms softly rustling the branches….

Beautiful weather on Hawaii… hot, but absolutely gorgeous….

I Remember… Margie….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s