My Master Plan and then Trump comes along….

Amnesia…. who would have thought???

When the Air Force shrink said I was narcacistic, I knew I was being set up… and I have taken over 6 of those advanced psych tests…. not one of those came back with what the Air Force drummed up…. but…. his words impacted my mental health… until………………………..

I quit taking all the medication the Air Force had me on and the VA continued for 13 more years…. including Premarin…

I repeatedly asked my mother… even asked her just before she cut me off, when she found out I remembered…. and she refused to give me information that might make my quality of life better… it really has never been all that great, quality of life that is…….

I watch DC and Trump with his corrupt religious base and men like Jordan & Graham that cover up rape and I wonder what happened to ethics and morals in America and that aha moment happened… Christians…..

Last night I dreamed… I dreamed anything but Margie… no PTSD nightmares… just comedy of errors of watching christians fight so hard to tell women what our rights are…. such a crutch this religion thing… such an enabler to not own your own life… blame it on all, but you don’t take responsibility for your choices….

The amnesia is such an annoyance… it popped into my waking mind this morning, when I realized, I didn’t have nightmares and dreamed of Trump and that corruption…. watching America be raped and sodomized by chrisitans… seems to have taken the spotlight off my own nightmare…

I have hope, I always have hope, that I will remember the specifics of a couple moments in time in my childhood….

I traced it back to when I lost my memories and it was Texas…. my sister and mother made sure I was injured again on Japan within a year of that major head injury and 1 last blow to the head at 17, gave me another mini stroke… which took the rest of the memories I had clung too….

Most of what I lost has come back, or at least what is important in this journey to remember….

Keeping my contact with my birth family at zero… keeps them from being able to insert the lies they have come to know as truth…….

I told hubby last night before bed… my life has been so quiet and relaxed, when it comes to my family… only because NO ONE IS CONTACTING ME!!!! YIPPEE!!!!

The drama they kept throwing into my life is no more and ghosts of memories float by… elusive, faint… but a hint of what was….

As with missing a limb, finger, toe, teeth… you miss them…. lose a twin and you have a gapping hole so large, nothing will fill it…. that is my amnesia…..

I don’t dwell on it… I allow things to just happen… I don’t go looking for the memories anymore… if they are going to open up… they will do it, when I least expect it….

I have hope… I have so much hope, I will remember all, before Freda & Peggy & Larry die… that is 1 communication I so want them to know about…..

I Remember…. Margie…. and lets hope that happens…..

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