I'm over the house of pain….

You got me on this one… but I call in my pain perscription…. and it’s only been a month since I called in my inhaler refill and I was surprised the automated system asked to verify the phone number, after it told me what they had… and I had no clue where the number came from they repeated to me………. now explain how a federal data base got changed, and can only be changed via social security number???? Remember told ya I have had monitoring since El Paso VA gave out my social number….. and that’s where I had a stroke in 2011 on their operating table…. paranoia or ???? Only way to change that phone number…. by my social security number…. and that tells me…. Federal employee….. why???? Because Oahu VA has been trying to reach me……. wow, Trumps poison has spread like a cancer……

So Oahu is saying yes to the implants, but it’s a little more complicated, so, we’ll wait till the doctor finish’s her evaluation and talks with the doctors that do the approval process…. 100% DAV and still feel like I’m wearing a uniform and waiting for command gods to do their jobs….

I’m terrified to have this done… I have a bad feeling, something about it isn’t right for me, I just don’t know… ultimately, it’s up to me and right now… I don’t have enough info to make an informed decision….

Looks like Hawaii is home for another 18 months or longer….

Sgt. USAF DAV I Remember…..

34 TBI Servicemen

Want to know what hell is… ask those 34 military members with new TBI…

I have lived with TBI since childhood, served my country and have been discriminated against because how TBI changes you….

Not in days, weeks or months…but years after TBI you are changing in the brain an it takes you on a ride in life like no other an it can destroy you or you can try an destroy it….

TBI is life altering for all that christian Trump mouths….

TBI is life altering….

60 years I have walked with multiple TBIs an one severe head closed TBI…. life has been a journey in discrimination an bigotry by those that caused said injuries… Christians like Trump… above the law an still destroying lives…

Now they are your sons and daughters lives …. is it worth controlling women in America, to sell our democracy for slavery of women’s reproductive rights????

Your voice is your vote…. Democracy or a life under corrupt christian law????

Sgt USAF DAV

VA Death Care on Hawaii….edited

Senator Shatz told hubby expect a phone call from Oahu VA… That was over 3 weeks ago…

3AM this morning my mouth wakes me up because of the displacement of my mandible an maxilla because of poorly fitting dentures the VA made me for the failure of the system they work for let $20,000 of my money go down the drain, because of lack of VA HEALTH CARE!!!!!!

Arkansas, El Paso an Hawaii VA let my dental care fail out of nothing more than lack of money to pay for my health care I EARNED WEARING A UNIFORM an Trump thinks headaches are not important after TBI?????

REPUBLICAN CHRISTIANS are dismantling our democracy an demoralizing veterans because a border wall is more important than taking care of U.S. VETERANS!!!!

you can’t fix stupid, so will the DAMN rapture happen an take these stupid bigot christian morons off the planet so the rest of us can live in peace!?!?!?!?!

And to those who want to enslave women, cut off the dick an sew up the twat if you cant live with your sex life, an leave the rest of us alone!!!!!

SGT USAF DAV American children are not fodder for sex for any religion….

Talked with Oahu….oh boy….

Oath of Office…

When I joined the Air Force, I took an oath to serve an protect the constitution…..

What happen to the christians who swore that oath in DC?????

Your voice is your vote…if you want a world free of bigotry an hate….VOTE christians out of office, they have no clue what integrity, honesty an civil liberties mean…

When people can not live with THE CHOICES they make…they want everyone to suffer for the ignorant acts they performed to get ahead, instead of living their oath…they spread manure…look at Trump an his base…most dishonest humans to walk earth….but the man made god they made up will forgive them….

Will your children forgive YOU????

Sgt USAF DAV

Humans playing god…

Will history think favorably of the U.S. Senate an House of Representatives or the Supreme Court???

Will history ask why some Americans think it is okay to tell others how to live the lives they were born into???

Evangelicals an greed are the factors being judged in the senate…

Will 20 minutes of action become the norm….. because women have no reproductive rights in America because of those who can not live with the choices they made???

Are all to be punished for the guilt of others????

Only your voice can change what they want to be….. Vote for democracy, before democracy is no more….

Sgt USAF DAV

#NotMyPresident #ImpeachTrumpPenceBarrPompeo

Flu shot….

If you have not got one, you should… If you think you are immune…. do me a favor…..

Stay away from me an mine…

I can fight the flu, pneumonia an virus…. I got vaccinated ….

Your sorry ass has no such vaccine…

Be warned children of mine, we will not put our lives at risk, because you fear a needle……

Mom, grandma, friend….. get vaccinated the life you save may be ours…..

Journey out of Darkness…..

I’m still exploring psychology…. either through research, which is not much… or memory of papers written at the UK psychology departments or America’s many facilities that write papers….. These two, seem to be the best for accurate and current information… I also keep up with what Walter Reed is doing on Concussion closed head injury, since I suffered from over a couple dozen of those…. so, a journey is a misnomer on what I experience…

My mind is jumping from the time on Japan and another head injury, to Okinawa, where I suffered another head injury… both of these involved silent strokes… not 18 years old yet, and the body and brain beaten by christians… oh, don’t forget the rapes, by said humans…

It feels different, this part of the journey… so many times in the last few weeks, I have had the opportunity to fly off the handle and take it out on anyone within reach of my voice…. instead, I chose a different path….

Understanding what I have dealt with since the surgery at the El Paso VA… was so much easier than figuring out what happened in Texas, Japan & Okinawa… I hang my head in exhaustion…. The VA failed, so miserably they failed and we have troops that Trump think just have headaches…. They got it so wrong with me… can they help, or will they destroy the lives they are suppose to help???

I sit here and try and feel some anger towards the men in power protecting the jobs, but not the people…. what they did…. lets just say, I made up a bunch of VooDoo dolls and poked real long needle pins in them and named each one… Wonder if that worked??? Sense of humor, never left… just replaced with a void for a while….

Now that I’m back…. I’m acutely aware of my vulnerability to stroke and memory loss…. this diary will be printed out, to help me back… hubby helped with this one, because he was part of the past… he wasn’t around when I was a kid… just mommy dearest, sister dearest and brother dearest and since they are christians… Truth will never cross their lips…. just wow…. holy crap on a cracker just wow….

I expect the next 12 to 18 months will not be fun… I won’t want to be knocked out for implants and that means being fully awake while they do the procedure and from what I read and saw, pictures I can’t get out of my brain…. I don’t think I’m a willing participant at this point… still waiting on that call from Oahu…. because I will voice my concern of this not being done in a hospital setting… which I feel is appropriate, with my tendency towards strokes….

As for PTSD and my nightmares…. I’m dreaming, but not nightmares, not in the sense of PTSD issues… just repressed memories from my childhood issue and they class that as PTSD, I disagree… now they are just dreams of my childhood, void of joy, fear or anything… just a video showing me my past or at least reminding me of what once was… and that is the change in the brain… the fear of facing what I couldn’t remember is gone…

It is quiter in our house… we talk about the bs in Washington… and once in a while I will pipe up, because a memory rolled by and it triggered a memory… I always voice those, so they imprint…..

The chaos from the stroke in 2011 is gone… and I easily run through those years, without skipping a beat…. not so with my childhood…. the road blocks have not all come down…

At one time it was all about fear and not knowing… now that I know what happened to me… the rest as they say, is a walk in the park…..

Sgt. USAF DAV I Remember… Margie…. TBI changes you, some just a little, others will never be the same… I know, I’m living it….

I heard they had headaches… Trump murders our military!!!

As a survivor of multiple concussions an a severe traumatic brain injury… Yep, headaches are part of the symptoms…

The other symptoms people with closed head trauma….

Personality change, aggression change, anger management ability gone, patience gone…lack of ability to stay focused , lack of ability to maintain who they were before the closed head injury…

I took over a half a dozen psych tests… First two were misdiagnosed in 1982…. all subsequent testing showed PTSD, which again is a misdiagnosis……

I have TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY!!!! and it changed who I am….

And yes to this day, I still have headaches associated with those TBIs CHRISTIANS gave me…

Just like the christian president just gave our troops in Iran…

Those LIVES will NEVER be the same….

I’ve lived with TBI, multiple brain injuries an it took the VA 60 years to correctly identify the injuries…. an you think Trump an his base give a rats ass about your kids in Iran?????

Well, I have a bridge in the pacific for sale!!! Enough said…

#NotMyPresident #NotMyGods #ImpeachTrumpPenceBarrPompeoGrahamMcconnell

Sgt USAF DAV

WILL we make it to November???

How ya doing after a day of he said, they said, who said an corruption for all to see???

Our house has been doing, watching an listening to anything BUT Impeachment crap….

We know in our house or Ohana… Our VOTE is our opinion….

Your voice, your vote….. watch out for snake oil, its pretty greasy with those white pasty Senators an president….

#NotMyPresident #ImpeachTrumpPenceBarrPompeoMcconnel

Sgt USAF DAV

I'm over the lies….. My Vote is my Voice….

I can remember in the day… the hell fire and brimestone kind of preaching… it wasn’t teaching you anything… it was trying to scare you straight… and frankly after watching the GOP and Trumps base… if you still believe in god… Dr. Phil might be available….. I would pass on Oz… he’s in denial of his own talent… it’s all god…

That being said….

When I worked protocol and watched Senator Dole watch another Senator who was shit face drunk crawl around on the floor and not say anything… any delusions I had over humans in congress, went out the door of the flight line building….. and yes, I know who the Senator was that was crawling around on the floor… so does Mrs. Dole…. go ask her….

You could say, that after the Air Force covered up my gang rape by officers and proceeded to cover up the rape and attempted murder of my children on a federal installation… I was done…

I had no faith, trust or interest in what the GOP calls a functioning democratic process….

When people swear the god they worship is the know all to end all and say it’s not acceptable to rape children, but they go to mass anyway… well that is the definition of insanity….

Still thinking of that bucket list… acreage, in the middle of bumb fuck no where, dig a moat, plant garlic all around the farm and get me a shot gun with silver buck shot and sit back on the porch and watch the circus implode….

Honestly, all joking aside… I know of only one way to take the corruption out of our democracy…. seperate church and state, like the founders documented….. and get off your ass and Vote, based on facts and not the internet or Fox news…. damn, that station just reminds me of that rag the enquire or other fantsay writing… like the bible…..

Our TV is on any station that does NOT have the impeachment on it… If I want to watch a crooked court room dance…. I can go sit in any court in the land and have a 50-50 shot of seeing that or a church….

I remember…..